What You Can Learn from a Bad Habit

By GG Renee Hill

When am I going to stop?

Same question. Different day. From the mundane to the life changing, we all know what it's like to have bad habits that make us feel trapped. We can ignore and deny to save face, but deep down we feel conflicted.
Maybe you want to stop spending time with someone who brings you down, but you keep hanging out with him or her.

Maybe you want to stop procrastinating, but you keep waiting until the last minute.

Maybe you want to tell someone something - a truth that they really need to hear - but you keep holding it in.

Maybe you can’t even pinpoint it but you know that something you're doing isn't working and you want to make a change. Beneath the surface, as you go through your daily routines, there's this little pull that tells you something isn't right. Trust me, I know.

There was a guy. This guy and me, we hung out every single day and we partied. It was our thing. I remember partying sometimes when I didn't even feel like it. I thought he'd feel that I was rejecting him if I said no. I thought that if I tried to pull him in another direction, to connect with him in a different way, that I would lose him. So I partied.

It dulled the tension. Not the tension between he and I, but the tension within myself. The kind of tension that comes from not living in alignment with your spirit. I'd party every night and wake up feeling bad every morning and I'd wonder:

When am I going to stop doing this to myself? What's wrong with me?

We ask ourselves these questions because we know that "this" is hurting us and we're denying ourselves in some way by allowing it. And yet day after day, we don't have an answer. We just do what we've become accustomed to doing. Sometimes years and years pass by this way.

Even though I didn't like myself very much during that time, my party days served a larger purpose. I know now that there was nothing wrong with me, but I needed to learn what I did NOT want for my life. That phase made me so tired of myself that I became curious about what I did want. I didn't wake up one day and change. What I did was start exploring new things, trying to expand my world.

I started reading books about life + self-discovery + spirituality.

I started gravitating towards friends who were more about positivity and love and less about partying and drama.

I started having less space in my life for bad habits and wasting time.

My change didn't come because of what I stopped doing so much as what I started doing.

Are you uninspired by what you're doing with your life? Think about how you want to feel and what you can start doing to feel purposeful again. Take a class in something that you have a natural inclination for but have never had formal training. Can't afford a class? Then read a book. See if it awakens something in you. Start a book club or a women's group or a blog. Explore your interests and branch out.

If you feel like you are at the mercy of your habits, just start with a small adjustment. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then… keep going.

GG Renee is an independent author, a creativity coach, a feeler and an overthinker. She writes for the crazy beautiful complex free creative inspired love drunk woman who relishes her quiet time and believes in miracles. Blog // Twitter // Instagram